


Swords and Spatulas

by Leticheecopae



Series: Drabble Sector [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Dubious Consent, Fathertime, M/M, Oral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-05
Updated: 2012-08-05
Packaged: 2017-11-11 11:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leticheecopae/pseuds/Leticheecopae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of drabbles between Dave/Dad and John/Bro.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bro/John

**Author's Note:**

> First bit is all John/Bro. Written to reflect John being between 16-19 in any of the drabbles, though they can be read however you would like.

**(Photographs)**

The photo’s made John’s mouth go dry. Each one was a bit blurry, like it was taken in such a hurry no one was sure who would be where, but with Dave John had come to expect that. They were vacation photo’s, from when the brothers had gone down to Corpus Christi for Dave’s spring break.

It hadn’t really been for the sun, seeing as the two brothers much prefered the night life, but from what he was seeing they had gotten plenty of both. Dave had told him that Bro had managed to get him into most of the bars no problem, though he had made him stick to pop the whole time. That hadn’t made it any less fun standing against the wall with his brother and making fun of the dumb Jersey Shore wanna-bee’s and the hundreds of drunk co-eds. But those weren’t the pictures that made John’s mouth go dry.

They were the photo’s of Dave’s brother, of Bro, caught in still frames in the middle of doing things with his hips. There were photo’s with him shirtless, jeans riding low with gloves and shades stark against his skin. Even sunkissed he looked so pale in the photos.

John kept clicking through them, each one making him swallow nothing as he looked at the curves of muscles and the way Bro’s hip bones dipped like that. Was that supposed to be possible? With a sudden ping from persterchum John was finally able to click out of the photo’s, going back to talk with Dave and pretend that he hadn’t just gotten an almost painful boner from looking at pictures of his brother. He wasn’t a homosexual after all.

 

**(Webcam)**

Everything he was doing was illegal, all of it, especially when the kid hadn’t even hit 18 yet. He doubted the world cared if 16 was the legal age in Texas, and even if they did, hacking into someone else’s web cam could be considered a federal offence. Especially when the cam belong to your little bro’s best friend. Was that stopping him though? Not at all.

John was undressing like he was covered in ants. Bro could just barely hear him yelling something as he danced around covered in flour, tearing his shirt off as he did so. Bro’s eyes immediately went to look over the quick text chat he had with Dave. Something about pranks gone wrong, and how his Dad was getting too good at figuring them out and making them backfire on him. Bro only caught snippets seeing as he was too preoccupied at memorizing every single curve of John’s clavicle as he sat bare chested in front of the computer. Teeth that large shouldn’t be that much of a turn on. But visions of how they would look with John’s mouth parted as he moaned were just too damn good, and just plain damning, to not think about.

When John left to shower Bro found himself gritting his teeth, seeing the last of the clothing go flying somewhere in the room but John wasn’t in the actual camera’s line of sight. He barely got a glimpse of him in the dorkiest pair of ghostbusters boxers he had ever seen. Bro had to shift to keep his own boxers from becoming too tight.

When the kid came back though? Well it was almost like he was putting on a little show all for him. Bro watched as he finished drying himself off, threw the towel away somewhere, and then flopped forwards on his bed. His ass we positioned in front of the camera perfectly, and Bro wasn’t ready for what happened next. The flop turned into a situated position, John’s upper body on the bed with his hips hanging off, cock hanging half hard between his thighs as his legs held him up, partially bent. Bro felt his mouth go dry when John reached back tentatively with one hand and ran a finger over the cleft of his ass, sliding down to press against his taint and letting out a little moan. Never had Bro’s hand been in his pants faster. 

 

**(Home Alone)**

Dave was gone, Bro was gone, and John was left in Dave’s room by himself with old comics and the unrelenting need to do something. He had debated on trying to set up a prank, but ever time he tried anything on the Strider’s they knew what was going to happen long before it did. So instead, he lay on Dave’s bed, flipping through old Deadpool comics and snickering now and again. But soon even Deadpools mouth and bloody shenanigans were wearing thin.

Sighing John got up and left Dave’s room, going to putz around the apartment. He had learned to dodge the swords in the fridge, that at least two or three of the cabinets always had half finished smuppets or smuppet supplies, and that Bro’s room was locked when he left. Only this time it wasn’t. He had tried the knob purely out of boredom, and when the door had swung in John had froze. It had only gone in a little bit, just an inch or so, allowing him to look inside.

It was dark for the most part, the shades drawn as John nudged the door forwards. John did his best not to disturb anything as he walked into the room. It smelled like Bro, along with the usual smells of a bachelor pad. There were some clothes tossed in areas, puppet items spread on the floor, sharp items scattered all over. The only thing clean of clutter was the bed, and even then the blankets were wrapped up in a large pile. He should have just turned back around, gone back to Dave’s room and read more comics, but Bro’s bed was just so comfortable looking.

Taking the last few steps in John climbed up onto the bed, hands pulling the blankets apart to let him inside. He cocooned himself in the smell of Bro, and in only a short while was hard. His hand was in his pants in only a few moments, gently tugging at his cock as he sighed into the blankets, Bro’s smell almost suffocating as he jerked himself off. He let out a moan.

“Well if this isn’t a wonderful welcome home.” John froze, head popping out of the blankets to find Bro striding towards the bed, shirt already missing as he undid his pants with gloved hands. With a slight stutter John attempted to get up, only to find himself tangled. Bro climbed up on the bed, cock straining against his boxers, the tip pushing out between the open fly of his pants.

“Comics not doin' it for you anymore?” Bro asked, pulling blankets aside until John was laying in front of him, cock out and his pants around his thighs. John shook his head slightly, glasses somewhat askew. “Then I guess I should help entertain ya till Dave gets back.” John swallowed hard, and prayed Dave would have to stay late.

 

**(Drop the Bass)**

The bass of the club was insane. Already John was happy for the earplugs Dave had shoved into his hands. Dave had even put a set of clear ones in his own ears. He had said they helped cut the way the music bounced off the walls, giving a purer sound. John had just called him a pussy and grinned at him. Dave had shrugged and walked inside, John following. They had gotten their hands exed over as they entered, and John was immediately shoving the things in his ears. How could a place be that _loud_? Dave smirked at him, John laughed and flipped him off.

He had been happy he was getting to spend his first spring break out of high school with Dave. So far they had spent the days attempting not to melt in Dave’s apartment, playing video games, and John doing his best not to stare at Bro whenever he would make an appearance. That was the main reason they were even at the club, to see, or more hear, Bro spin.

Dave was leaning against the wall, looking at those dancing while John bounced on the balls of his feet, doing his best to try and look over the heads of all the other patrons. He wanted to dance, but not by himself, and Dave wasn’t really the dancing type. The fact that most of the girls in the club were also older than him by a good three years didn’t help his nervousness. Then Dave grabbed his hand and tugged him around the club, holding tight so the crowd wouldn’t swallow them. John didn’t know what was going on. Then they were standing in front of the DJ booth, and John forgot what swallowing was.

Bro was wearing a black muscle shirt in place of his usual white, the black and neon lights painting his sun kissed skin in multiple shades. It was inhuman how he looked, one hand on the turntables, the other pressed to his ear. Then he was looking up, those shades right on John, and he was moving his head, telling him to come up. John made a pointing motion to himself, and if it hadn’t been for Dave shoving him towards the stairs he wouldn’t have moved.

He climbed the few steps on shaking feet, and when he was finally up Bro pulled him in front of the table, the base reverberating around them like a living heart beat. Bro took both of John’s hands in his, put them on the turntables, and started to mix. Bro was a continual line from John’s shoulder to his ass, pressing into him as he guided his hands over the turntables and the people danced below them, calling out. It made John smile after the first bit of worry disappeared. Then Bro shifted, and John lost his breath again. Right in the cleft of his ass was pressed something long and hard. When the little voice that said he wasn’t homo sexual screamed at him, it was drowned out by the bass, and when Bro moved against him gently John bucked back into him.

For another set Bro ground against him, using John’s hands to mix beats and drive the dance floor wild. When the music went to a generic bass beat Bro pulled back, grabbing John’s shoulder to lead him away. They passed Dave on the way down the steps, the two Strider’s bumping fists as they passed. A moment later a whole new style of mixing started up, the crowd roared, and John found his back against the wall. Bro’s mouth was devouring his in seconds. The bass reverberated through the wall pressing against his back, and Bro pushed his own rhythm against John. The beats swallowed him, and he was lost to a word of pulsing, both inside and out.

 

**(Reflection)**

His eyes looked too blue, the way they reflected back at him like that. Dirk’s orange tinted ones winked above him in the darkness. Dirk had a thing with John watching himself in the mirror, seeing how his face contorted with every moan. There was no way to stop it either, any time he closed his eyes Bro would stop, cock twitching inside him until he opened his eyes and looked at his face.

He could see Bro too of course, the way he bit at his lip as he drove in deep. The look of pure concentration and need drove John to the edge, making him have to look away while Bro fucked him in long, purposeful strokes. Soon he would lose all forms of his cool, fucking him till John was practically pressed against the dresser mirror, moaning out nonsense as Bro pounded every known syllable from him.

John moaned loud when Bro started to speed up, more than ready for the harsh treatment that was to follow. He looked into the mirror, and let his eyes catch Bro’s. Let his blue pupils beg for everything bro could give him. And give he did.

John had never seen himself arch so hard in his life, and through the mirror, never seen Bro grin so wide either.

 

**(Bubbles)**

It’s fun, wrapping your hand through all that blonde hair. Bro has to sit on the shower’s floor for you to get your fingers to the top of his scalp, but really you don’t care. Truthfully you could care less. You are buck naked in a shower with Dirk Strider, known to the rest of the world as Bro, and you couldn’t be happier.

Twisting your fingers in his hair you are able to obtain a low moan, one that makes your half hard cock jump in anticipation. You want him inside you again, to make you scream and moan as he thrusts in hard. You don’t care if Dave hears, and you doubt Dave even cares anymore. He probably set the whole thing up the smug bastard.

So when he moans again, and shifts on his knees to half face your cock, you can’t help but bite your lip. The water of the shower isn’t hot enough to drown out the feeling of his tongue on you, and when he swallows you whole there is no going back. All it takes is a few well placed flicks of his tongue and you're gone, moaning his name as he sucks you down. All you can think is how you, a stupid kid, managed to make it with bro strider.

You massage the shampoo out of his hair, and bending down you kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue, and not caring when the soap mingles with the taste.


	2. Dad/Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabbles of Dave and Dad. Supposed to take place between Dave being 16-19.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammatical mistakes. Please enjoy.

**(Who Lives in a Pineapple)**

They remind you how young he is. The way that his hard cock springs between the folds of cloth to form the nose. The only reason you know the character is from when John watched it as a child. The song about a pineapple stuck in your head as you stare at the flesh between the folds.

“Something wrong?” He asks above you, and yes there are a lot of things wrong here. Like how you are more than twice his age, how your son is his best friend, and how his ‘Bro’ is counting on you to take care of him while he is is your home.

But the flesh is much too tempting, and despite the porous face of the sea sponge you dip your head down and take Dave in your mouth, suck hard, and savour the moan he makes. In that instance you don’t care if he is still in high school or if he still looks at the things your son does. In that moment Dave is Dave. The boy who stole your heart despite his age. The one who makes your cock ache with each persterchum session. He is the one you have been falling for faster than a meteor to earth, and you will savor every noise he makes beneath you.

“Please,” he whispers. You let his cock go with a slight pop, pull his boxers down, and ignore how his body hasn’t completely filled out with hair. It will be soon enough, and you will love him no matter what. Because he is Dave, and ironic underwear or not, he is the one you chose.

 

**(Knots)**

Dave stood looking at the old set of badges in interest. It wasn’t the first time he had been alone in the Egbert household, but it was the first time he had ever decided to go explore a bit. For the most part John’s home was bland as fuck, at least compared to a house where any wrong step would have you up to your ears in neon felt and pointed objects. That didn’t mean was going to sit around and do nothing while John went to school and Mr. Egbert was at work. He hated how their spring breaks never fully matched up, John’s always being half a week earlier than his. But that was okay, he had been having fun with Dad whenever his best bro was finishing off his senior midterms. Fun John didn’t necessarily need to know about.

Poking around a series of framed items on one of the hallway bookcases, which were mostly of John at some age or another, Dave spotted something in the back. He picked the frame up and stared at the thing inside. It didn’t take long for the gears in his brain to start spinning.

When Mr.Egbert came home for lunch he found one end of the nylon rope tied to the inside door handle. It was a simple enough knot, one he undid in seconds.

“Dave?” he called, just a bit confused as he followed its length with his eyes. Coiling it around his arm he followed it, heading through the house until he reached his bedroom, the door barely cracked from the rope. Pulling it open he popped his head in. “Dave what is this all...oh my.” All his blood rushed south.

Dave was laying back on his pillows, hands behind his head holding the rope, a frame strategically placed between his legs. In it was Egberts old boy scout badge, one he had been quite fond of.

“Never told me you were good at tying knots,” Dave said smugly, lazily wrapping the rope between his fingers. “Want to teach me a few?” Egbert stepped into the room, closed the door, and set his fedora on the hatrack nearby.

“I might be a little rusty, but sure. Lets give it a shot.” 

 

**(Cookies)**

Watching Dave eat your baking is like having a miniature orgasm somewhere deep in your brain.The chemical for pleasure speeds through you with each bite he takes. There is nothing hidden when his shades are off, and when you bring him cookies straight from the oven, barely an hour after pounding him sensely into your mattress, there is nothing more welcoming than seeing his eyes slip shut and the way he chews them.

“Fuck these are good.” And the cursing goes straight to your cock. It might take you awhile to admit it out loud, but you have a slight fetish for dirty talk. Especially talk that borders on the obscene. Dave does more than enough of that.

“Christ, Dad, you’re going to make me cum here and now with just this in my mouth.” Another twitch of your cock and the way Dave is smirking at you doesn’t help. “Rather have something a bit more salty though. Know where I can get something like that? Something homemade?” And god he is pushing your buttons, pushing hard as he manages to put a full cookie in his mouth, chew maybe twice, and then swallowing. You don’t care if he is almost in college, no human being should be able to do that.

“Let me taste you?” And christ you are already on the bed, plate of cookies forgotten as Dave lays flat and waits for you to position yourself above him, you staring down at his cock which is already hard. His tongue darts out to taste your precum, and with little hesitation you have your mouth going down to swallow Dave as much as you can, not caring if your throat isn’t as used to it as it once was. You swallow him down, listen to him moan, and moan around his cock when he does the same.

The cookies lay on the floor forgotten. You can always bake more later.

**(Careful Planning)**

Egbert couldn’t stand the way that Dave’s glasses reflected everything. He knew that dave loved them, had taken ridiculously good care of them since his son had given them to him, and was never seen without them. At least, when he was with someone other than Mr. Egbert. But it had been a while, and as he waved at Dave through the webcam over his son’s shoulder he couldn’t help but feel the stirring in his cock.

They had given him an idea though. For the three days John was away for his senior class get away, Egbert went about and installed the items that he had wanted. It had been hard, and getting the installers to do it in three days a chore. But in the end it all worked perfectly.Summer couldn’t come fast enough.  
\---

“Look up.” Egbert murmured, finally setting Dave’s glasses on the nightstand, teeth nibbling his exposed collarbone.

“What am I looking for? You hide a camera or...oh” Dave stopped when Egbert pushed a button on a small commander. The ceiling retracted quietly, revealing the mirrors that he had placed all along the ceiling. Taking a glance he watched as Dave’s breathing sped up, red eyes going wide before looking down.

“Its not fair that I’m the only one who gets to see how beautiful you are when you cum.” He purred, leaning up to kiss Dave. The teen just let out a moan, bucking upwards into Egberts hips. A few moments later all clothing was missing, Egbert sliding inside Dave in long, deep strokes.

“F-fuck,” Dave said as he went back and forth staring at the ceiling and Egbert. Egbert hummed before fucking Dave into the mattress, all purpose and intensity while Dave watched himself cum through half lidded eyes.

**(Cream & Sugar)**

Dave enjoyed watching Dad bake. It was nice to watch him move around the kitchen, how the ingredients would disappear from the counter and be placed back in their cabinets as Dad went about cooking. It was always interesting to watch how Dad would work on his cakes, his cookies, all of his baked items.

Today he was creating some sort of cake, chocolate from the amount of cocoa powder and melted chocolate. Dave sat at the breakfast bar, sipping milk and watching him move. He was whipping up the icing now, pouring cream into a bowl of butter and sugar. As soon as the beaters stopped Dad handed a spatula to Dave, going to pull the cakes from the oven. When he turned around Dave had as much of the spatula down his throat as possible.

The way that Dad swallowed visibly told Dave that he was having an effect. Dave slowly pulled the spatula from his throat, flicking his tongue against the tip as he finally pulled it free.

“We have at least a half hour before the cakes need to come out of the pans.” Dad said, voice measured, undoing his apron as he went. With a smirk Dave licked his lips, downed the last of his milk, and followed Dad out of the kitchen and upstairs. There Dave swallowed something a little thicker than milk.

**(Heat)**

Egbert jerked away from the heat, bare skin unable to stand it very long. He had heard of people playing with hot oils before, hot wax maybe, but a hair dryer? Sometimes Dave came up with some of the weirdest things to play with, but he would have to admit he usually enjoyed it much more than he would have ever imagined.

“What’s wrong, Dad?” Dave asked, hot air flowing over Egbert’s skin. He stifled a moan at the use of the name. He had never realized how much the name aroused him, but when Dave used it at times like this it made his cock jump. The hot air went up and down his side, making him arch against the rope made of ties around his wrist and found they would not give. Dave had been practicing. Damn.

Egbert was unable to answer however as the hot air made him pant, going lower and lower until it came to his legs. Each leg was wrapped in its own tie rope, putting ankle to ass and spreading them. He let out a choked cry when Dave aimed the hot air on his balls and backside. It took only seconds before it was scathing hot, Egbert straining to squirm enough to get away, but at the same time doing his best to stay put. He was rewarded with the flick of the off switch, and then the tongue.

It felt cool against his skin, the hot air having warmed it to near burning. Egbert moaned loudly as Dave lapped at his balls, tongue dipping down to rub against his taint. His hips bucked up, trying to get more on their own accord. Dave chuckled, and then the heat was back, making him hiss and buck once again.

God did he love it when Dave picked the toys.

 

**(Metallic Tendencies)**

Mr. Egbert stared on with wide eyes. The fact that so much of that blonde hair was gone didn’t compute, at least not in his head. Neither did the metal glinting in Dave’s septum. Or in his ears. What the hell had happened in this last year?

Dave leaned against the doorway, smirking as Dad swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. As much as he missed Dave’s hair, the long flip of blonde that covered his head had his cock jumping. It was so long, so much hair to grab onto.

“Hey Mr. Egbert,” Dave said, following John into the house, pushing off the door frame like it was nothing. “Long time no see.” Mr. Egbert felt his cock twitch even more in his slacks as he saw flashes of metal in Dave’s mouth. He was in trouble, so much trouble.

“Yes Dave, a long time.” He replied, swallowing hard as John took Dave’s stuff upstairs to the guest room. His cock already knew that Dave would be spending little time there. Knew that Dave would be in his own room more often than not, and that John would be working.

“Like the new look?” And Mr. Egbert just swallowed hard as he did his best to force down his erection.

“It’s very...you.” Never had he seen Dave grin so wide.


	3. Just for the adorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No smut, just Dave being an adorable 4 year old and Bro being a good older brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because I could.

**(Halloween)**

“I want to be a unicorn.”

Bro stared wide eyed behind his shades at the four year old Dave, who currently had the least stained white blanket wrapped around himself and an old party hat jutting from the top of his head.

“Run that by me again little man?”

“I wanna be a unicorn.” Dave said again, the small shades Bro had gotten him sliding down his nose, still too big. It was two weeks before Halloween, and the parents had gotten letters about how the kids were supposed to dress up for the Halloween parade on the 30th, Halloween falling on a Saturday. Bro had been asking Dave what he had wanted to be for at least a couple days, but the kid had come up with nothing. Kept saying he needed it to be perfect.

“Where did this idea come from?” He asked, only for Dave to disappear and return with a Cassette Tape case. On the front was a bright red bull and none other than a unicorn.

“They can use magic, and kick butt, and can even swim in the ocean.” Dave said, excitement seeping through his attempted four year old cool. Bro looked the case over, wondered where Dave had gotten it, and then gave up as he let a smile spread over his face.

“A unicorn huh?” he asked and bent down to look Dave in the face. “Why the hell not. Now tell me, we going to do white or do you want to add some sparkles and stuff to this thing?” Bro grinned as Dave’s eyes went wide, the top clearing the point of his shades as he quickly slid them back up his nose and attempted to be cool yet again.

“Girls like sparkles. Lets do sparkles.”

“Sparkles it is my man.” Bro said with a slight chuckle, patting Dave on the shoulder and then heading to his room. He would need to come up with a design, order the cloth, and then make sure he could find a bad ass enough horn for his little bro. He would be the most epically bad ass unicorn any four year old had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can guess the movie I will be way to damn happy.

**Author's Note:**

> The wonderful renaris did a picture based off of the 'home alone' prompt, and I think it is quite lovely. Go take a look!  
> http://renaris.tumblr.com/post/30223954921/well-if-this-isnt-a-wonderful-welcome-home


End file.
